


Full Circle (Homin ver.)

by Andrea250



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Homin - Freeform, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 05:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea250/pseuds/Andrea250
Summary: Rated M for Depression and B×B themed."Your smile has dimmed and your eyes are burnt out.... Yunho.... you aren't yourself, for the longest time even before me. I don't know anymore.... each day you start to loose yourself and I a watch you wither away slowly."Changmin cried as he kept watching the love of his life get worse."I don't know what you mean Min?" The older male tried to hide the hurt of years past, the skeletons in his closet keep piling up and he couldn't close it anymore.Yunho didn't know what Changmin was saying but he did. Yunho didn't want to admit the truth, denial was his best friend and he always went with the latter. Yunho knew how to hide his feelings but losing someone he loves, the only person that gave a damn about him, it felt like a car crash or it feels like what it would.Yunho is a freakin mess and Changmin so badly wanted to fix him, but he knew that he couldn't do it. This was something Yunho had to do for himself, yet Changmin so desperately tried to pick him up and tried to put back the shattered pieces together.******A/N: This is a story for another pair that I already published on here but I made a Homin Ver.  So please give my story a chance!*******





	Full Circle (Homin ver.)

**Author's Note:**

> "Little angel go away  
> Come again some other day  
> The devil has my ear today  
> I'll never hear a word you say  
> Promised I would find a little  
> Solace and some peace of mind  
> Whatever just as long as I don't feel so
> 
> Desperate, ravenous  
> So weak and powerless"
> 
> ~Weak and Powerless by A Perfect Circle

 

**_Song: Full Circle By Movements_ **

 

 

 

 

**_3rd Person's P.O.V:_ **

Changmin tried, through and through, it was never enough in the end. Changmin simply couldn't do it anymore but Changmin knew that Yunho needed someone in his corner more than ever.

Yet, Changmin knew that Yunho has not been himself for years. Changmin felt powerless, every breathe, every sunrise, every sunset, and each passing months Changmin felt hope wither away.

His faith shaken in many ways.

It was no secrete about the obstacles and troubles Yunho faces and Changmin tried so hard to fix things that couldn't be put back together but he wanted to try. It was noble but selfish to want to fix someone when they aren't a project. Yunho is a person and Changmin shouldn't expect that one morning Yunho would wake up anew.

Patience is virtue, it was something Changmin needed to learn but he just didn't want to, he is stubborn and relentless when it came to the ones he loves the most. The flaws in his system made him go crazy, not Yunho, his own cuz deep down he knew.

"Yunho?" He approached the older male cooped up in his study alone.

The older male did not respond, Changmin opened the door, it was daunting and Changmin tried to push back the cry that wanted to escape his suppressed throat. But seeing Yunho just sit there frozen in time, while the world around him buzz with life and beauty.

"Yunho?" He tried again.

Yet again, in vain, the dark brunette sighed and tried to move closer to Yunho. He just sat their in his leather chair in his work slacks and a cardigan with nothing under it, it seems as though Yunho has been in here since last night.

Changmin didn't know how much more he could take before he completely broke down in tears, it was hard to watch someone you love dying in front of you and you couldn't do anything but just sit and watch, it was hopeless and Changmin hated himself.

He approached the still male and he was afraid that Yunho would break out into another episode.

"Hyung, its me." He stood next to the male as they looked at the open window watching dawn break and the sun smiling in joy and Changmin wanted to smile but his muscle memory failed him. Happiness has not been known in his heart ever since Yunho... it was hard to think or talk about the events that lead to this time and space.

He wasn't asleep nor awake, it seems like he is stuck in limbo and Changmin had to bring him out gently and calmly.

"Yunho..." He stood in front of the male and crouched down to eye level, hoping for a miracle.

"It is morning hyung, time to come out now." His heart tried to bare the pain and hurt.

"Hyung..." he put his hand on the older male and lightly shook him.

"Hyung time too-"

"You don't deserve this." Yunho voice raw and hoarse.

"Yunho what do you mean." Changmin knew.

"Don't play dumb!" Changmin flinch at the callousness in Yunho tone.

"You are trapped here and you know it." Yunho words sting.

"Leave me!" HE shouted in Changmin face.

Regardless, Changmin took it and Yunho hated himself even more.

"Why do you stay with someone as pitiful and disgusting as me?" Yunho knew Changmin was meant for more than this house of misery.

"I love you." Yunho scoffed.

"You don't love me... Loving me destroyed you and now you are stuck in this rut of mine."Yunho had cut off all the power lines in his heart knowing that the results of feeling, it would lead to unbearable and painful conclusion.

He wasn't willing to risk Changmin life as collateral damage... Changmin was more than that and Yunho knew deep down. Him and Changmin will forever be on different end of the same chapter and that is what killed him inside.

Changmin would always be 10 steps ahead of him and before he knew it... Changmin would be on to the next part of this tangled equation, where they never seems to be an answer but only more steps to what appears to be simple math problem.

One that anyone could do, yet Yunho never could seem to do the right thing and made a great stretch between him and Changmin but he did nothing about it and continued to allow such precious and irreplaceable time slip from his head. Although, He never took for granted the subtle glances, caressed touches, frantic affection they share between one another in random and unexpected times.

Yunho did not know how Changmin could stand the noisy silence and cold bed, it made Yunho go crazy thinking Changmin is alone; even with him... Changmin shouldn't have to live this way! Yunho knew that he should have let Changmin go a long time ago, yet, Changmin never let Yunho go. Never gave up on Yunho and never turned his back on the older male.

He knew that and Yunho felt like he was taking advantage of Changmin kindness by being such a burden and he felt like the younger male took pity on him and decided to stay and bare the pain cuz that is Changmin. Changmin is too selfless for his own good and Yunho loathed and love that part of the male, it made Changmin more human, in a way Yunho is jealous of that attribute that he never had.

"If you knew what is in my mind... you wouldn't be here." Yunho looked out onto the horizon of the Seoul sky.

"Yunho nothing you could say could make me leave." Changmin love Yunho and knew that the older male has so much to give to the world and that he isn't a lost cause, it killed Changmin to know whatever he tried to do... it just wasn't enough.

"You are so naive and pure heart and that is what makes you a fool." Yunho words pierced Changmin fragile heart and Yunho could see the hurt painted on Changmin face.

"Love does that to people, makes them a blind fool." He tried not to cry.

"Love isn't real Changmin. Why do you constantly fill yourself with dead hope in this forsaken home? Why put yourself through all my suffering?" Yunho is slipping back into head space.

"You told me once... that you have gone too long without a smile and that you have reason to stay... my heart beat faster that day. You looked at me as though I was sunshine, you have never once told me that you love me." Changmin wasn't going to give up on the older male.

He knew that too many people have and he wasn't going to be one of them. He made a promise in his own heart that Yunho would never be alone ever again, he knew Yunho has everything in the world but depression didn't care and decided to over stay its visit.

Changmin was at the end of his limit and he so desperately tried to hold on to what was left but Changmin couldn't save Yunho, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't do it. This was something Yunho had to do for himself and Changmin had to give him time... Changmin felt like him being their was not doing Yunho any good.

"I am sorry, I failed you Yunho." Changmin tried to smile but it felt like anchors were tied to the corners of his mouth.

"I think we need to take a break Yunho..." Hongbin felt a piece of his heart break.

Yunho thought that Changmin leaving would give him peace but it did the opposite, he didn't know if that was good or bad and he just couldn't comprehend anything in this state of mind.

"This isn't a goodbye but a see you later. I think by me being here is not doing you any justice." Changmin couldn't do it anymore and he was starting to run out of options and so maybe this would be Yunho best option.

"You are leaving me too. I am not surprised." Yunho knew that Changmin wasn't breaking up with him but the hurt in his guarded heart spoke a different tale and it hurts like hell.

"Your smile has dimmed and your eyes are burnt out.... Yunho.... you aren't yourself, for the longest time even before me. I don't know anymore.... each day you start to loose yourself and I a watch you wither away slowly." Changmin cried as he kept watching the love of his life get worse.

"I don't know what you mean Min?" The older male tried to hide the hurt of years past, the skeletons in his closet keep piling up and he couldn't close it anymore.

Yunho didn't know what Changmin was saying but he did. Yunho didn't want to admit the truth, denial was his best friend and he always went with the latter, Yunho knew how to hide his feelings but losing someone he loves, the only person that gave a damn about him, it felt like a car crash or it feels like what it would.

Yunho is a freakin mess and Changmin so badly wanted to fix him, but he knew that he couldn't do it. This was something Yunho had to do for himself, yet Changmin so desperately tried to pick him up and tried to put back the shattered pieces together.

"You will forget about me... they all do. I wasn't what you wanted so you just abandon ship... you aren't any better." Yunho first instinct to protect himself is aggression.

"Yunho, I can't keep pretending like everything isn't falling a part...like this isn't some messed up nightmare... for the longest time we have been together I have put everything on hold and left everyone that said you were just a waist of time... that you had all the money in the world and I was just another project." Changmin couldn't bare it anymore.

"I defended you cuz I believed in you and I saw the good in you and I wanted to show you exactly who you are Yunho ." Changmin heart kept breaking.

"Yunho , I couldn't fix you and I know it sounds stupid... you aren't some school project and I shouldn't have been foolish!" Changmin hope for the best for his love.

"I must let you go and let you find yourself. I can't make you happy or to make you love yourself... you must do that on your own." Yunho had to find himself if he wanted a chance to live.

"Call me when you decide that you love yourself...." That was the hardest part for Changmin, having to let go but he knew he had too.

Changmin got up and dusted himself off "I know you can do it Yunho . You must fight for your life cuz you are a fighter and a pretty damn good one hyung." Changmin kissed the top of Yunho head and walked away from him.

It hurt so much to turn away but he couldn't stay in this broken home anymore. One day might come... or not but Changmin never stayed long enough for his brain to concoct a negative scenario and he didn't want too.

Yunho is alone again...

**_****_ **

Changmin had to for his own sake, it hurt him more than Yunho would truly ever know. But Changmin couldn't look into the eyes of a fallen angel, eyes of a tragedy...

This was no longer his fight and it never was...

Yunho needed the will to live again and Changmin knew that Yunho will get to that path once again.

One day, they can walk on that flowery road but for now, it just wasn't the right time or place. Yunho was at war with himself and Changmin tried to make peace but he never could, Yunho was his own worst enemy.

Changmin looked around one last time, he laid the letter on the coffee table and grabbed his suit case and left back to his own. He didn't have much but it didn't matter cuz Yunho is Changmin greatest love, but today Yunho is his greatest sorrow.

He would carry that with him until the time they meet once more, when the stars and moon align once again and all is said and done... the moment of true nirvana, is the day when the sun will rise in Yunho skyline once more.

That is the time they could smile with no regret, it was one Changmin held onto no matter what their fate is.

***   
All Yunho could do is sit and stare at nothing! Even though there is color and life in this cruel existence, it was never a trick question or doubt in his mind... now everything seems so gone...

It is like a fog that has masked over and he can't seem to find the exit sign anymore. It is all hazy and faulty and Yunho felt paralyzed in this strange world and he just curled back into himself.

What was he suppose to do?

He depended so much on the younger male for everything, it hit him like a fraught train, it dawned on the older male that he used Changmin.

Changmin never complained or argued with him and Yunho treated him like crap... Changmin loves him.

This was not a wake up call but self-actualization or some self confrontation. Even an intervention! Or not.

A piece of his conscious came and went.

Yunho just did nothing.

_**The end** _

 

**Author's Note:**

> *PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS STORY IS A HOMIN VER. TO ANOTHER STORY I WROTE BUT FOR MY VIXX HYUKBIN PAIRING... SO YEAH... I MADE CHANGES .*
> 
> Sorry, this is sad... This is my first Homin fanfic so please take mercy on me!
> 
>  
> 
> Lastly...
> 
> I have been going through a lot lately but I am trying to get back to a good place... but it is not easy. I am tired of everything but I have to live, surviving isn't living anymore and I learned that.
> 
> My head is in a dangerous place and my thoughts are telling me things that I know aren't true but... I don't know the difference anymore. So bare with me please, I am currently living through my own personal hell.
> 
> Thank you again everyone.
> 
> Thank you my lovely readers I hope you are healthy and happy. Keep it weird everyone, love you all.
> 
> -AndreaXx


End file.
